Friday, March 25

Cerita Lawak Orang Putih.

Harini nak hepi-hepi saja, jadi pada yang tak hepi mungkin ada bole baca beberapa cerita yang akan aku share kat bawah ni, mana tau bole senyum sikit-sikit, senyum kambing pon jadilah.

1.Lonely Businessman In a Business Trip

A businessman checks into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely. He thought of one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you’re calling for a cab. He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy
hair, long graceful legs all the way up to her….. you know the kind.
He copied down the phone number and returned to his hotel. When back in the room he figures, what the hell, give her a call.
‘Hello?’ the woman says. God, she sounded sexy.
‘Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I’d like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I’m in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I’m talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we’ll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you’ve got in your bag of tricks. We’ll go hot and heavy all night; Tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?’
She says, ‘That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to press 9.’

2. Jigsaw Puzzles.

A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, “Can you help me when you get home?”
“Sure,” he replies. “What’s the problem?”
“Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can’t even find the edge pieces.”
“Look on the box,” he said. “There’s always a picture of what the puzzle is.”
“It’s a big rooster,” she said.
The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, “Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box.”

3. You Must Be Single

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of romaine lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since I
was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?”
The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

4. A man and a woman, who had never met before, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two were tired fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in he lower.
At 2:00 AM, he leaned over and gently wakes the woman, saying, “Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be kind enough to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.”
“I have a better idea,” she replied. “Just for tonight, why don’t we pretend that we’re married?” “Wow! That’s a great idea!!” he is excited.
And she says : “Get up and take it yourself”

Semua cerita diatas untuk hiburan saja, tidak bersangkutan dengan yang hidup mahu yang suda mati.

1 comment:

eira said...

hmm..agak relax sdkit..